As a blogger, I may be compensated in some way (either pay, product, or experience) for sharing the post below All opinions are my own. ~Heidi
Heidi & Other Adoptive Parents Say …
Obviously, adoption isn’t something you should just into blindly. Of course, as a planner and a researcher, I don’t think you should go into anything blindly; but, if you are a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants person, please know that adoption isn’t something that should be taken lightly. You can’t just jump into it not knowing anything. Do some research and ask lots of questions!
Many adoption agencies will give you very thorough information that will most likely answer many of your questions before you even think of them or ask them. I know ours gave us extensive information and lists, etc. Also, be sure to check FAQ pages on agency websites.
It’s also a good idea to find another family who has adopted – even better to find one with personal experience adopting from the country you have chosen – and pick their brains. If you don’t know any other families, ask your adoption agency to help you connect with one/some (if they aren’t willing to do this, you may want to look for another agency).
Questions for yourself:
Why do I want to adopt?
Adoption, just like parenting a birth child, is a long-term commitment. Am I ready?
Am I OK with not being biologically related to my child?
How will we tell our friends and family that we’re planning to adopt?
What age child do we want to adopt?
What if we get a child that is not what we were expecting? (emotional problems, learning challenges, attachment issues, etc.)
What special needs are we willing to consider?
Will we select gender or be willing to take either a boy or a girl?
How will we handle discipline? (This is one that your social worker or perspective adoption agency will ask you, so be prepared.)
How will I feel if my child wants to learn about his/her birth parents later in life?
Questions for your agency/social worker/other adoptive parents:
Is your agency licensed to practice in [country]?
How much does it cost to adopt from [country]?
How many children did your agency place last year?
May we have contact information for former clients/adoptive parents?
How many families do you currently have on your waiting list?
What are the requirements to adopt through your agency or from [country]? Do we meet these requirements?
How long does the process generally take?
How can I bond with my adopted child?
How long will we need to be in-country for the adoption?
What can we expect when we arrive in the birth country?
Will we get our child right away when we arrive or have to wait a few days?
Can I send items to my child while we are waiting?
Is it appropriate to bring gifts for foster parents/orphanage staff?
Will we need to redo immunizations when we return home with our child?
What type of food will my child eat?
Is he/she still in diapers?
How many clothes should I take for him/her? How do I know what size to pack?
How can we deal with the trauma of removing a child from the only place they know/remember?
What kind of things should we buy in the birth country that will be of importance to our child later in life?
What are some of the cultural differences we will face in-country? How should we act in order to not offend? (some things, such as handshakes and hugging are not socially acceptable in other countries)
Should we parent our adopted child the same way we parent our birth child(ren)?
Questions/prayers to God:
Ask God to guide you throughout the adoption process.
Ask Him to lead you to the right adoption agency.
Ask God to lead you to the country where your baby has been/will be born.
Pray that God has his hand of protection over your child, even before you get your referral.
This post is part of the 31 Days of {International} Adoption series. All posts from the series will be linked within the body of the introduction post, making posts in the series easy to find and access. You can read them in order, or look through the topics, find one that interests you, and go from there.
I hope that, in addition to these posts, you will follow me on social media as well. I’ll tweet links to all 31 posts using the #write31days hashtag – you can find me on Twitter at twitter.com/HeidiSays. Please also connect with me on Facebook at facebook.com/HeidisHead and on Instagram at instagram.com/heidi.strawser/. I’m happy to answer any questions you may have. You can connect with me here, on social media, or via e-mail.
I’m so glad you found my blog. I pray that 31 Days of {International} Adoption will be a blessing to you!
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